Since I don’t have a lot of little friends in real life, I spend a lot of time reading kink forums so that I can see what other littles are up to.
One of the things I keep coming across is warnings about the binge/purge.
If you’ve ever struggled to accept your kink (like I have), you might go through periods of indulging it in…only to then go through periods of repressing your urges. A lot of times, this repression is brought on by feelings of shame, guilt, and even self hatred. You hate feeling “abnormal” and hope that if you stop “indulging” in your kinks, they’ll simply go away.
Most veteran kinksters know that isn’t true. After a period of repression, you will probably find yourself binging again. Then after awhile the purging starts.
The obvious way to get out of this cycle is just to accept that your kinks are who you are, and you can’t change them anymore than you can change your skin color.
But that’s easier said than done. Those negative feelings can be powerful and crippling. I drafted this post a month ago and left in sitting. Today, while browsing my forums, I came across an AB who was an active member and had been for years. He wrote a goodbye post, saying that his fetish was unhealthy and not a turn on for him anymore. He was through with it all!
The post reeked of despair and my heart automatically went out to him. Others chimed in, reminding him that nothing good can come of the binge/purge cycle and that he should try to reconcile with himself that this is who he is. He didn’t reply, but I hope he listened.
And I’m trying to do the same as well. Slowly but surely.