I think it’s time we talk about my boss.
He’s an alpha male, without trying to be one. Incredibly smart, handsome, creative, and a quick study. His mind is very analytical and he can easily see a solution a mile away. He’s polite (to a point) but socially awkward. He’s a bit of an introvert, putting on a show when needed but otherwise preferring to sit back and watch from the sidelines. He works in the realm of sarcasm and I sense that his sarcastic nature has turned people off in the past, so he tries hard to tailor his responses to the more sensitive general population he works with. As a result, he can seem cold and impersonal to those who are around him.
When we moved from California, I quit my job. My friend in our HR department called me and told me that there was a position similar to mine open in the state we were moving close to (but not in). She thought I would be a good fit. I agreed to meet with the hiring manager and her manager (Bossman) for an interview. They flew me out and I spent all day interviewing.
He was the last to see me. I was tired and knew I could do the job with my eyes closed…which made me annoyed that I was going through all of this trouble. In my mind, if they couldn’t see what was in front of them they deserved a shitty replacement for their current temp that was filling in. I’m very good at my job.
He asked me some basic questions and I answered them, flashing my dimples. He didn’t seem moved. Finally, he asked me a stupid question. Instead of giving a canned answer, I snorted, rolled my eyes and answered back “Duh.” He took it in stride, told me he’d let me know and sent me on my way.
I got the call a week later. They wanted me. I started a few weeks after that and was thrown in the deep end. “Be careful with Bossman,” the temp who I was replacing said. “He’s impatient. He wants his things done now.” I nodded but didn’t fucking care. I’d do them in order of priority and he’d like it. It was not my first time at the rodeo and this man did not scare me. Unless your name is Jesus your title doesn’t scare me.
Plus, I was determined to loosen him up. I couldn’t (and still can’t) work with social awkwardness. There’s no need to be shy or nervous around me. It irritates me and is distracting. So I cracked jokes and made corny puns to make him laugh. I argued with him (a first for someone in my position) and casually informed him that he needed to remove the stick out of his ass (direct quote) if he wanted his worker bees to work harder for him. “People are willing to go the extra distance for people they like,” I said. He would huff and roll his eyes, but do what I said.
I began a PR campaign of sorts to re-brand him from the cold, faceless leader of our company to the warm, kind-hearted executive I knew he was.
But it wasn’t all one sided. Because I was living in one state and working in another, I was commuting three hours every day in the dead of winter. And working a ton of overtime, trying to untangle the mess my predecessors had made. Finally, he got sick of me having to commute back and forth and instructed me to get a hotel room a few times a week on the company’s dime. I obeyed.
When someone did something that made my job very hard, he pulled me, my hiring manager and the person’s manager into a meeting. He leaned back against the wall, arms folded, and explained in a very controlled, angry voice that the person’s behavior was not ok. His intensity scared the shit out of me! But it also turned me on like I had never been turned on before. Not only was this man standing up for me, he was radiating power. I could almost touch it.
As the months wore on, he became softer towards me. I’m just as sarcastic as he is (if not more) so we frequently would have verbal sparring matches. We live in his kingdom so he’d engage me whenever he felt like, not caring who was around. People would often become uncomfortable listening to us talk. These weren’t just two colleagues joking around. There was (and still is) a sexual tension underneath the banter. I’d find him popping out of his office just to smile at me or to prod me into bantering with him. He’s 20 years my senior, and a Leo so he loves attention. I don’t scare easily and his sarcasm just rolls right off of me so I think I intrigue him.
I found myself slipping into a submissive mindset around him. He’s so dominant that I can’t boss him around or manipulate him like I can with other executives. Or other men for that matter. My dimples only work so far with him. I often find myself baring my throat (proverbially) around him. In response, I can see him check the way he communicates with me. He doesn’t want to see me upset…and will go out of his way to make me happy. At this point, I get away with murder because he seems to feel better when I’m in a good mood.
This post is getting way too long, so I’ll continue in a fresh one. Stay tuned to hear more about how Bossman and I interact with each other!