You know what’s frustrating? My husband. 🙂
He’s a natural caregiver. He tucks me in at night (despite not sleeping in the same bed), he takes care of me when I’m physically ill, he treats me to ice cream and stuffies and absolutely loves it when I pout. The more of a little I allow myself to be the more he enjoys it.
His problem is consistency. He’s like an on and off switch- he’ll be on for a few weeks and I’ll be loving it! And then he’ll turn the switch off for however long and I’ll be left feeling lonely. He’ll snap and tell me to “get it myself” or “do it yourself” and be a real asshole. His mood swings are so difficult to deal with! (Not that mine are any easier I might add.)
We’ve talked ad nauseum about adding rules but he’s not really for it. He says it makes him feel weird. And I get it–for the past 10 years of our relationship I never expressed that I needed rules so our dynamic has always been “you do it because you’re an adult and that’s what you’re supposed to do”. I understand how it could be weird for him. Still, I wish he would give it a shot. The only real “chore” I have is cooking dinner every night. He hates to cook and loves it when I do so he assigned that to me.
I asked him last week how he felt about me having a non-sexual Caregiver for rules and structure. He was not having it. I’ll keep talking to him about it, though. It’s just…hard when you keep telling your loved one that there is a problem and you’re trying to fix it and they keep digging their heels in. He’s a stubborn man.
Despite all of that, we had a nice weekend. Saturday I wasn’t feeling well so the mini-me and I spent the day in bed, napping on and off. We went to the toy store that night and I got a new stuffie! The kiddo cuddled him until she went to sleep. He’s a cute little teddy bear wearing a Santa’s suit. Absolutely adorable…but I haven’t thought of a name for him yet. Husband was pretty amused and noted how big our daughter’s stuffie collection was getting. “Well at least we know she gets it honestly,” he teased.
Sunday, Husband decided to take us shopping. We grabbed something to eat and went to a nearby fashion outlet. It was a lot of fun! We bought our daughter a ton of new clothes for the fall / winter since she just had a growth spurt and grabbed some pictures of her playing. After, depsite being exhausted, I asked Husband if we could go to the grocery store so I could cook dinner this week. Once we got back home, we fed the monster, put her down to bed and then collasped on the couch. We watched a couple of movies together before he put me to bed.
I’ve been toying with the idea of asking him to “move” back into our room. He currently sleeps on the couch…and that can’t be comfortable. It was never my intent for him to sleep out there. He wanted to game at all hours of the night and I needed to get sleep. So the choice was to come to bed when I did or sleep on the sofa. He mentioned the other day that the next time I change our bedding (this weekend) he’d like to sleep in the bed again. We’ll see. He makes so much noise coming to bed and I’m such a light sleeper…despite my being lonely at night it’s easier in terms of getting sleep.