Realizing who’s into the ‘lifestyle’

It’s so funny, now that I’ve started to learn about BDSM, I’ve started to identify who’s into the ‘lifestyle’ and who’s not within our social circle of friends.

I’ve also started to think about how’s dominant and who’s submissive.

My one friend is definitely submissive and her husband is definitely dominant. My other friend is not.

On Wednesday, Husband dragged me over to our friend’s house for a BBQ. We were all laughing and joking and someone asked me how my writing was going.

“Ok, I guess,” I shrugged. “I’m stuck on a sex scene.”

Husband’s friend perked up. “What type of scene?”

I turned to him. “BDSM.”

“Like, whips and chains, or just plain ole Dominance and submission?”

“Dom/sub stuff.”

“Hmmmm…” he stroked his goatee for a moment while he thought. “Have you ever heard of James Deen?”

“The porn star? Oh, yeah! I love James  Deen!”

He nodded. “You should check him out. He’s got a lot of Dominance stuff out there.”
I grinned happily. “Thanks, that really helps me out.” I then laughed. Who knew this friend knew about BDSM?

Later I asked Husband about it.

“Yeah, I’m not surprised he knows about that stuff,” he said. “He used to have a huge porn catalog.”

I raised my eyebrows. “What happened to it?”

“His wife made him get rid of it.”

My mind wandered as I thought about our friend. He always orders his wife around (not that she seems to mind) and is very opinionated. I wondered if he was just semi-dominant or an actual Dom.

Anyway, it just goes to show you, what people do behind closed doors can be very different from what they portray in public.

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