All of my personal friends are strong, independent women. Consequently, they are all looking for a man that can handle them. A Dom, if you will.
My one work friend is a forty year old woman who just married a thirty-something year old man. She is an executive and has groomed her new husband to be a manager within the company. She’s always high strung and tries to solve the world’s problems by herself. She’s always willing to go to battle for the little man, and has a “glass half empty” mentality. My friend is a control freak–she’s been itching to run her department (and is about to get her wish), she seems to run her relationship (from what she’s told me), and she loves being needed.
My other friend is also a forty year old woman who’s not an executive. She is very much the submissive (I’ve met her husband and he’s a Dom, through and through. Not my cup of tea, but she loves his stinky drawers). She’s strong, that’s for sure, but she tries to temper her brattiness to keep her husband happy. She’s a firm believer in ‘pleasing your man’ and follows the mantra ‘a happy man is a happy life’.
When I first met them, I thought Friend A was everything I wanted to be. I modeled myself after her, and we spent many lunch hours commiserating about how useless our men were and how we single-handedly could save everyone and everything with our infinite wisdom and capability. We poked fun at Friend B’s mentality, and pondered why on Earth would she marry someone like her husband???
But after realizing what I wanted and needed, I began to see the wisdom in Friend B’s ways, and the error in Friend A’s. Friend B might not be happy in her career, but she realizes that the job does not define her. And she’s very happy with her relationship and in all other aspects of her life.
Friend A is constantly on the verge of being miserable all the time. I actually feel sorry for her husband. Any little thing could possibly ruin her day. I realized that I didn’t ever really want to be like her. I didn’t want a ‘glass half empty’ mentality. I wanted to be happy and secure in life and in my relationship.
The other day, Friend B and I were having lunch.
“You know, Friend A is something else,” I whispered. “I have to walk on eggshells around her. I never know what will set her off!”
Friend B nodded in agreement.
“You know what she needs?” I mused. Friend B looked at me. “She needs a strong man in her life. Someone that can tell her to sit down, he’s got it.”
Friend B looked surprised, assuming that every man did that. “She doesn’t have that?!”
“Not from what she’s told me.” We both ‘harrumphed’ and went back to eating our sandwiches.
At that moment, I realized just how much submission meant to me. And just how happy I was.