I’m a type-A, wound tight, OCD(ish), ENTJ control freak.
So naturally I’d be a sub, right? Just kidding.
I try to plan life. Seriously. It’s a bad habit I’ve been trying to break for a long time. Husband is pretty patient with me, as he is the complete opposite. He doesn’t allow me to ruffle his feathers with my bemoaning when things go off “the plan”. Come to think of it…the only time he gets truly upset is when I’m being 1000% bratty or when I joke that I’m leaving him…
I’m not feeling very good about myself today. On Friday night, I went out with friends and had a great time. Unfortunately, on Saturday I paid for it….with a severe hangover (much to my husband’s amusement). So I haven’t been productive in any chores, writing, etc.
This morning I woke up depressed. The weekend seemed to be already gone. Husband is not feeling well, so I laid back down with him. It’s now 12:30 in the afternoon and I’m just now dragging myself out of the bed to take a shower.
I’m not feeling sexy today, either. It’s funny how one day you think you’re a sex goddess and the next you feel like a brown blob. I resolved that I would wear makeup even if we don’t leave the house today, and tonight I’d like to give myself a facial and do my nails.
Some subby thoughts:
1) Husband and I talked about D/s relationships again. He reassured me (again) that it was ok to be feeling like I was feeling. I told him that I was sexually frustrated and needed some BDSM in our bedroom. He agreed and confessed he didn’t know what to do. I offered to send him some links and he agreed.
2) Last night, after our talk, he told me to go lock up the house and come lie down with him. As I hemmed and hawed, he repeated what he told me….in a stern voice. I felt my mouth quirk. As I got up, he added, “And when you come back you better be naked.” Shivers.
3) On Friday night, after I shucked my clothes and stumbled into bed, he came in, rolled me over and (despite my feeble protests), pushed my panties aside and took me. I have vaginismus so usually I need some type of warming up before we have sex. I think I mentioned that I would be sore the next morning and he dismissed it. “You’ll be alright.” He pounded away and it felt sooooooo fucking good. The next day, I awoke to a towel tucked under me, a pussy full of cum and no soreness! Interesting. It just goes to show that vaginismus is more mental than anything, and that when I’m turned on enough I lubricate myself naturally. He knows I love rape fantasy porn and the next day was very proud of himself for ‘acting a scene out’ while I was drunk. I love my husband.
4) I find when I allow myself to be submissive to Him I’m happier and peaceful. I also am incredibly turned on by him. I love his big, strong hands and his strong thighs. Mmmph.
Now that I’ve gotten myself all worked up, I suppose I should take that shower now. 😉